Day 43 - And then there were 2...

Time flies when you're having... well I can't really call it 'fun' exactly, but in a way it sort of is once you 'learn to love the burn'. I'm somewhat amazed that I've come this far, and am now so close to the end of this challenge. I WILL find the measuring tape in a box tonight, so I can do a final recap of progress this weekend I swear. Just tomorrow and Friday left before I close out this 9 week experience.

I wish I had something inspiring to share, but as this has become a fairly regular routine now, I'm finding less and less to write about which is disappointing because this was such a huge part of the experience for me in the beginning. Now it's just kinda 'keep on keepin' on'. I don't want to write just for the sake of writing - I want to share something significant and motivational.

There was something new last week though, and I can't remember if I just thought about it, or if I wrote about it. Probably should have checked my last couple posts before I started into this story, but the holiday season is here, and I don't have time! :-P So forgive me if I'm repeating myself.

Last week, we had a brand spankin' new member in the FitCamp class. She was wide eyed and completely overwhelmed. Intimidated by the workout we were about to undertake (frankly, I was too as Kendra likes to throw in some more or less insurmountable tasks every once in a while... but at least it doesn't shock me anymore). She was understandably unable to complete some of the exercises and needing to take breaks during the sets. As I watched, I saw a mirror of myself from a mere 30 some classes ago. I smiled sympathetically, and encouraged her to try modified versions of each exercise she was struggling with. I told her "This was me, a few weeks ago. I promise, it gets better." I won't say it gets easier, because it doesn't... if it's easy, then you're not pushing yourself.

(Please note... this is not me. My hair is lighter.)

As I ground through that workout while watching our newbie - for the first time I really saw the progress I'd made. The warm-up doesn't leave me huffing and puffing and a purple sweaty mess anymore. (See day 1 when I thought I was SO screwed). I've upped my weights across the board, and don't even look at the 5lb dumbbells anymore, even though at the beginning I thought they may as well have been a half ton truck for my ability to lift them at the end of an upper body set. The thought of 'a minute of burpees' still makes me want to throw up a little, but only because there's no way I'll ever like burpees. But I can do it. (Albeit reluctantly). I've even more than doubled my 'row' weight on the machines, which earned me an "Atta girl!" from Chris! That was a triumphant moment.

So I guess mentally this is where I am at the moment: I'm not the new kid in class anymore. It wasn't an easy battle, but I've fought my way to somewhere in the middle and that's awesome as far as I'm concerned. I've progressed enough to be proud, but still have so much room to grow that I'll stay motivated and hungry for more. It's a good place to be. The flipside is that it takes away my excuses to slack. I KNOW I can make it through these workouts now, so I can't let up anymore. When I do, I'm being a wuss, not pacing myself.

I truly hope that all those who are just beginning their journey realize that it is just the beginning. There will be lots of help along the way, and if ever you feel alone in your crusade - know that you aren't. Never get discouraged if you're not making the progress you feel you should. That there are people stronger, faster, leaner than you. Eventually, the new kids will be looking up to you instead. But for now - everyone has to start somewhere. The important thing is that you start at all.



PS - This fitness thing is like the Mob. Or Hotel California. Once you're in this - there is no escape. While trying to spice up the blog using Thesaurus.com... check out the ad that appeared in the sidebar... My old nemesis - TRX. Made me laugh - which I guess, is better than the urge to cry. That was week 2.

Day 39 - So.... It's been a while...

Whoops again! Apparently blogging is just like working out - you give yourself permission to miss it just once, and all of a sudden it's a LOT easier to keep skipping (and skipping and skipping.... and I obviously don't mean with a jump rope). Lesson learned. Like anything else, a commitment only works if you stick with it.

So, here's a little catch-up on fast forward. Holiday season is pretty much upon us. That coupled with moving, unpacking, and a bit of brain drain trying to figure out what I could possibly have left to say that would still be interesting - led to a seriously major blog block.

But I'm back, for a little while anyway. And unbelievably, I'm down to my final 6 workouts of the challenge. If everything had been according to my original plan, tomorrow would actually be my last day, so I'm grateful for that bonus week, because I just don't feel done. I know for a fact I won't feel done next week either, but all good things must come to an end - or at least a pause. I fully intend to continue on this journey after the challenge, but it won't be quite so intense.

Rather unfortunately, two of the things that HAVEN'T been unpacked yet are: a tape measure and a scale. So I truly have no idea what my numbers are right now, but based on people's reactions who haven't seen me in a while - I'm doing okay. I can certainly tell in the way clothes fit and honestly, I feel like these have been the best forms of measurement I've come across. Watching people's eyes bug out of their head in surprise is ridiculously satisfying. Can't even pretend that I don't absolutely love it. It's a totally new thing to me though as I've always been terrible at accepting compliments, never feeling like I really deserved them, or that they were sincere - but now -- oh baby did I earn this!

If you're curious - 5am still sucks. I know right? People say "Oh you'll get used to it"... no, you don't. You never get used to it. At least I don't. I can't really explain what the feeling is at 5am when the alarm goes off - but it's sure not "well golly gee let's get this show on the road!". It doesn't make me want to burst into tears anymore though - but I think that's as close to "used to it" as I'm ever going to get. A gentle acceptance and a truce with the alarm clock. I'll take it.

One thing I am absolutely, positively, indubitably and irrevocably certain of - is that like the picture I posted above - I will never ever EVER let myself get back to the point I was at mid-September when this opportunity arose. I don't want to have to start over and fight tooth and nail to get back to where I am right now. Once upon a time, I was actually a somewhat elite athlete. That went to hell in a handbasket the moment I left home to go to college. Even with all the training I did back then - I'm pretty sure that I'm in the best shape of my life right now. At this very moment. And I never want to move backwards ever again. It just feels too good.

I will say this to you though. To you reading this who feels "I don't even know where to start". It's not a 'where' to start. It's a when. And that when, is NOW. Starting over sucks. But never starting at all is even worse. A year from now, you'll wish you started today - so do it. Invest in yourself. Your health. Your future. Do it now and never look back. Never start over again. Make sure that every step you take today, is taking you toward a positive goal, and then let inertia keep you moving, as long as it's in the right direction.

Day 30 - Whoops! Gapped out...

Okay - so a little scattered this week with packing, moving, working and life in general. Pardon the absenteeness of it all! I kind of had to choose between making time for workouts, or making time for the blog. Wasn't a tough choice. ;-)

I can always catch up on writing, but once you've given up a workout, you lose it forever. You can't just push yourself harder next time, because you should already be working to the max every time you step through the door. Now let me clarify that 'max' is different for everyone. Particularly those working with physical limitations (injury and illness being the big ones). But the bottom line is:

This is something that's tough for a lot of people to fathom, because they've already got ideas in their head about what their limits are. They're full of "can't", and "quit". And it's not so much a negative attitude, as a lack of belief in themselves. One thing I've been noticing even more than the change in my body over the course of this exercise, is the change in my mind. I've got a new level of belief, because every day I see/feel myself doing things I never thought I'd be able to. And the more I push myself, the more I realize how much stronger I was and am, than I ever thought possible. The best part is, I find it translating into every day life. This isn't just about how much weight you can lift, or how fast and far you can run. It's so much more than that.

99% of this battle is mental. Convincing yourself to make a commitment, setting your alarm, getting out of bed, getting dressed, getting to the car, driving to the gym in the dark... by the time you're actually there - all the tough stuff is done. After that, all you have to do is sweat. I struggle more with that daily break-up with my snooze button, than I do with deadlifts, squats, side dips, tricep presses... even burpees. Well, maybe not burpees - they're still pretty much the bane of my existence, but that makes my alarm clock a close second!

It's a daily battle that I'm proud to win though. It's a big boost to confidence, and mental strength when you can tell yourself that you've accomplished more in one day before the sun comes up, than most people bother to do in a week. You owe it to yourself to give your brain and body that kind of power surge! And forget your limits. Set a goal. Meet it. Beat it. Do it again. "Train like there is no finish line".

Day 26 - Remember remember, the 5th of November

I find it strange, that the weaker I am after a workout, the stronger I feel. I used to dread that rubbery legged wet spaghetti feeling that made me wonder whether I'd be able to push in the clutch on my car, or if I'd be trapped at the gym forever... but now, it's something I look forward to. It used to mean at least 3 days of barely being able to walk, and these days it's just another way to feel the progress. A way to know that I actually pushed myself, and that soon my wobbly limbs will be just that little bit stronger.

Today did nothing to derail my theory that Chris gets the butt whooping out of the way on Monday so we don't dread it all week... absolutely killer in the best of ways today! I had to thank Chris this morning, not just for the workout, but for Fitcamp in general, because with every giant moving box I pack and lift, I am so grateful for this journey - I would be dreading this move a whole lot more if my strength hadn't increased so dramatically in the last few weeks. I can't stand moving, but it's much more difficult when you're huffing and puffing trying to lift the box of plastic containers and paper towel...

So I've got that to "look forward to" at the end of this week, but at least I'm feeling far better prepared than I was before this all started. Double bonus - the new house is only a minute and a half away from Bodynetix! Now I have to find a way to keep going after I'm done the challenge! Not rain, nor sleet, nor being a broke homeowner, nor Christmas holidays (read: food) will stop me.

One thing that you can't help but notice is how quickly the group at Bodynetix becomes some strange sort of family. Even though I don't (and quite likely won't) know most of my groupmates' names, it's just kind of a silent understanding when you're in that room together. Chris will give you a tough set of exercises, or say "30 more seconds" for the 10th time... and there will be a collective groan, or sympathetic smiles between some members, and when it's all done, we quite often collapse to the mats en masse. If you see one another outside of the gym, there's usually a nod of recognition or even a quick chat if there's time. It's like a really good sports bra... tight knit support. 

Haven't tracked down a measuring tape yet, but I might be able to squeeze that into the schedule before we move. Stay tuned for a proper measure/weigh-in and hoping to see some readers take on a Fitcamp challenge of their own - even if it's just that first week to test the waters (and it doesn't have to be at 6am!) I'd love to hear about your experiences as well.

Day 25 - Friday, I'm in Love

Oooo baby - this is a TOTAL TGIF day. Up until this week, all the days have kind of blended together and before I knew it, the weekend was here... but this has been a very distinctly LONG week. I'm not sure if it's the weather, the seemingly 20 hours dark every day, the recent stress of buying a house, the fact that we're ramping up for Christmas at work and things are getting insanely busy -- or if I'm just having a mini pity party that I need to get over. But whatever the reason, I'm super glad Friday has arrived.

I guess this is just a little reminder for me that I'm not entirely bullet proof just yet. Darn eh? Mornings are still tough, and workouts are still killer. But I will give myself a little pat on the back (as soon as I can lift my arms again) - because today we did a lot more work with weights than we did the rest of the week, and I definitely noticed a difference in strength and stamina. I kept setting the weights at what I've been used to, and then a couple reps in, realized "This is too easy. OMG...YAY!". Even without the weights - the core work we were doing would have flat out leveled me a few weeks ago. Today, it hurt, it ached, it burned - but I can muddle through it now. I can push harder, for longer.

There is still a looooooooong way to go. Given that I've only just cracked double digits on the free weights, and I'm kind of maxed out around 20lbs on the machines - there's so much room for growth. I'm feeling a little like the Tortoise with slow and steady but I'm so beyond okay with that. I saw this on George Takei's facebook, and it was just too perfect not to share:

And then every so often, BAM a day like today! Oh I was still draggin' some serious butt - I sure wasn't a bouncing ball of energy. But there were moments of pseudo-glory where I didn't feel like I was going to fall over, or I could do 5 mountain climbers/jack knives in a row on the TRX instead of the 1 (or none) that I could do at the beginning. Today I could do deadlifts with 20lbs of weights on the bar. Last time we did them, I could barely do the bar on its own. I ran the stairs with 10lb weights instead of nothing. I did renegade rows with 12lbs instead of 8lbs. It's slow and steady and awesome.

I'm all about recycling material this week (because I'm tired and lazy - and not ashamed to admit it... plus there really are some things that don't sink in until you hear them a few times). So I will leave you with another quote for your wall of "Why bother...":

No matter how slow you go - you're still lapping everyone on the couch.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Day 24 - New and Improved: Now with more FitCamps!

So apparently, I miscalculated my challenge... It actually works out to NINE weeks of he--.... heavenly awesome training. Yes, that's exactly what I was about to say - fingers just stuttered for a second. ;-)

I was, in reality, quite excited at that revelation this morning - because I had been starting to worry about what I'm going to do after this is over. I've discovered that buying a house is "expensive", so won't have the disposable income to continue training once this challenge has wrapped up. At least not immediately. It's DEFINITELY an investment that I'll continue to make, the moment I'm able. But supposedly, having a (properly built and up to code) roof over your head is quote unquote "important". Sigh. Sometimes being an adult sucks.

I don't want to think about that right now though. I want to go back to this morning, while I was still shrouded in my morning brain fog, trying desperately to keep up to Kendra and my classmates as we pounded through another fantastic workout. (FYI - there seems to be lots of space Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is confusing, because Kendra is a kick butt trainer, so if you're having a tough time getting into classes the rest of the week - the 6am slot for T&T is widely available! Just sayin'... you could join us and see what it is I'm babbling about).

Right -- shiny things distract me-- back to the workout: Today I actually started to notice some significant strength increases in the weights I could work with. It seems to happen when you're not paying attention. Watched pot and all that. All of a sudden, you're like "Hey - this is the weight I usually use... and it's way too easy. I'm gonna pump this up a bit!". So across the board today, I was increasing my weights for presses, push downs, holds, and curls. It was EXCITING! It's those little moments that you're like "Yeah baby, I'm gonna keep rockin' this thing!" and it keeps you coming back for more.

Now as I've been chatting about this IRL (in real life for the non-nerds who don't speak geek) with people - the most common feedback I get is "Ohhh I could never do that, that early in the morning". To that I offer you this:

I covered that sentiment wayyyy back in the first couple weeks of this endeavor, but I find it ringing true more than ever. As we get nearer to the holiday season and things are just absolute madness at work, and after work, and pretty much ALL the time - the only time I really have to myself, FOR myself, is first thing in the morning.

I sure as heck still loathe 5am with every fibre of my being, but I know that by the end of the day, there is no amount of negotiating I could do between my brain and my body to force myself to the gym. There's laundry, and packing, and shopping, and paperwork, and too many things to do 'after work'. So this is how I make time. I suck it up a little bit. I miss a little late night TV while creeping Facebook, and in return, I get healthier, happier, stronger, leaner, and instead of my pudgy-face cuteness that I've had since birth - I'm working towards jaw dropping (and a jawline! Woot!)

Worth. Every. Sleep-deprived. Morning.

I'd do it 100 times over. And in fact, I might!

Day 23 - Head and shoulders, knees and toes...

No, today's title isn't a recipe for Hallowe'en Witches Brew - it's a line from the simple children's song - because I'm takin' it back to the basics this morning. The reason is, I'm learning that's all you really need when you want to get in shape. I really have to give credit where credit is due - and today, that credit is for Chris Ketch and his vision for Bodynetix.

Some people want fancy bowflex machines, and ellipticals, and a treadmill, and a full rack of dumbbells and weight belts, and 20 position adjustable weight benches, blah blah blah this list could go on forever. Today's workout involved a mat, and a single set of dumbbells - and quite often we weren't even using those. If you think for a second our workout was anything less than totally kick @$$, then you've got another think coming.We were challenged from head to toe several times over today (and every day).

You don't need to find a gym with the most high tech equipment, flat screen TVs, and latest cardio machines. What makes the workout is structure, and intensity. That's where we rely on our professional leadership. They take the 'thinking' out of the equation. We put our faith in them to guide us, and in turn, we get results. Do we ever. They also take interest in our progress and safety. Today my knees were bugging me after a high impact day yesterday. Chris came to check on me and make sure everything was alright. It's the attention to details like that, that you're not going to get from any machine, no matter how fancy.

So thank you Chris (and Megan, and Kendra, and my fellow FitCampers) for the constant motivation to move forward and strive for better, stronger, faster. I'm thinking Chris must have caught yesterday's post about squats burning more calories per rep than any other exercise, because we started the class today with 50 of them - so I saw it fitting to end the post with this sentiment, as it was the 'self talk' I had going on at about 6:05 this morning - (And for the record... DEFINITELY not me in the picture.... yet...)

Happy Hallowe'en! 

And tonight, remember - boils and ghouls - to burn off just ONE m&m, you need to walk the length of a football field. World's truest scary story.